There’s more to Jess than Tech

Jess French joined ING back in 2010 and works as a Desktop Engineer in the Tech team. Earlier this year she bravely announced her gender affirmation, from Rodney to Jess. This is her story, in her own words.

I’ve always been a bit of an introverted homebody. I remember back in 2000, I was 15 with a terrible haircut, acne and no friends. I was aware of a ‘feeling’ I had, but I buried it deep inside until so I didn’t have to think about it (please don’t try this at home; it’s not a good idea).

After 20 years it was time to stop hiding.

2019 was the turning point where I took a long hard look at myself, my mental state and awareness. In December I decided to kick open the closet door and proudly come out. After that self-awakening revelation, everything else started falling into place and I was finally in a position where I didn’t have to hide and deny my feelings.

I was finally in a position where I didn’t have to hide and deny my feelings.

Fast forward to April this year, I decided to take four weeks long service leave. Staying at home allowed me to start experimenting with and embracing the whole idea of beginning my transition. There’ve been lots of interesting moments and situations so far (some not so great), but the best was the day I went outside wearing a skirt for the first time.

I’d been waiting for nearly three weeks for my online order to arrive (thanks coronavirus!) and when it finally did, I raced back to my room to get changed. Once I was dressed, with makeup on ready to leave, I suddenly felt really scared and ended up getting changed back into my old clothes.

“Don’t worry about it Daddy, I love you either way,” said my ten year old daughter, in the midst of my meltdown.

So, on went the skirt and top again, and I finally stepped foot outside as Jessica – and I loved it. To top it off, a food-bike rider nearly stacked his bike after turning around to look at me when he rode past.

The name Jessica / Jess has always been special to me for a number of reasons. I’ve always had a Jessica in my life in various ways shapes and forms so it makes it feel even more right to take that special name.

Whilst I’m not one who likes to ask for help, I know support is always there if I need it.

I’ve been asked as to how far I’m going to take my transition. I’ve already looked into the options, and whilst none of it scares me or puts me at a “yeah nah, I’m good”, I just haven’t made up my mind as to how “far” I go.

Everyone at ING has been amazingly supportive, accepting and open about my story. Whilst I’m not one who likes to ask for help, I know support is always there if I need it.

I’m a few months shy of being 35. I’m feeling scared, nervous, excited, afraid, calm, happy, ecstatic, confident, free.

But most importantly, I’m going to make sure the next 35 years (and beyond) is about exploring and reshaping my life as Jess, and loving every single minute of it.