Sharing the care: Ahmed

Ahmed Malla works as an Operations Team Leader at ING. He took six weeks paid parental leave earlier this year to share the care at home following the birth of his son, Jacob. This is his story, in his own words.

The policy is designed to look after you. So you can look after your family.

We found out we were pregnant with our first, in June last year. Even though it was planned, I was still all over the shop thinking ‘how do I organise things, what do I do’. It was pretty stressful. I wanted to spend as much time with my wife, Renee, and the baby. I had a bit of annual leave left, plus the two weeks. Taking leave without pay was an option, but not ideal as we’d struggle a bit.

I remember seeing the announcement about the new policy in August 2019. 14 weeks! It was such a weight off my shoulders. Renee was shocked (in a good way) as it was better than the parental leave policy at her place. It meant we could plan ahead, together. My manager was supportive of me taking six weeks after the birth. It just worked out perfectly.

Jacob was born on 27 February. For a minute we thought he was going to be a leap year baby! Renee was induced in the morning but nothing was happening so we ended up going with a C-section. We didn’t plan for that, so the parental leave was such a blessing as I was able to be there for her in those first six weeks when she needed to rest and recover.

I’ll never forget that first night at the hospital. Jacob and I had some skin to skin time while we were waiting for Renee to come back in the room. I was staring into his eyes, and I think he must have been hungry, because he went in for a feed. I said, ‘No mate, not me! Wait till your mum gets back!’

That first week, we thought we were prepared - little did we know! Lots of changing nappies and not much sleep, but I loved every second of it. So did Renee. We were best friends already. We’re even closer now. I was able to watch her be a mum. We learned things together, made mistakes together, and supported each other through it all. It was the best.

I was speaking to my old man about it as I’ve got five sisters and he missed those early moments with us because he had to work. They didn’t have parental leave in those days. I’m so thankful that I get to see Jacob grow in the early stages of his life. You’re never going to get those moments back.

The impact of COVID has meant I’ve pretty much been at home for the past few months. I don’t mind it! And it means I’m only in the next room if I’m needed during the day.

Renee goes back to work in December, so I’ll take the remainder of the leave then, before Jacob starts day care. My advice to other new dads is to chat to your partner and figure out what’s going to work best for your situation.

The policy is designed to look after you. So you can look after your family.

We’re celebrating the first year anniversary of our updated parental leave policy by sharing stories from new parents at ING to show the impact it’s had on their families. We believe having or adopting a child is one of the most important moments in life, which is why we removed the outdated terms of ‘primary’ and ‘secondary’ carers, giving all new parents at ING access to 14 weeks paid parental leave. This can be taken all at once or flexibly to best suit each parent’s unique need.